Stay...

Past are the days when u were here with me

Time passes slowly now
Wish you would turn back once to catch up….

Neon lights seem dim without you,
Washing up the shore are memories past,

Concentration wavers.....shadows fall,
Stay with me…


Till the break of dawn, stay,
Leave me a memory to hold onto
Miles we’ll cover together walking till we can no more
Miles along life’s way we’ll trudge
An unknown bond forged between our hearts
A happiness that knows no bounds till the clouds break apart…
Till its dawn…with me,stay..

Haphazard...

Pujo overall was a great one this time,I really did have a lot of fun. I feel happy now, but sad on the other hand cuz the end of Pujo signals the start of classes and studies again. College reopens on the 6th of October,n the first day itself we have 2 exams to write,bugging!! Anyway,apart from all of it and certain issues,I feel happy. I had dinner with Bappa da n Toy da etc at Flame n Grill,South City Mall, yesterday...Unlimited kebabs and ice cream. :) I love that place, its a different satisfaction altogether. Met oindrila today before she goes tomorrow :( At Mother Earth,South City Mall(again!!), we were going through stuff for her friend, the lady who runs the shop asked to help out-she needed to fetch something that was kept high atop on a shelf. It was a first of such an experience,I climbed the ladder and go the thing. Felt weird yet right. Anyway,she be goin tomorrow.
I have been trying to write a song for like ages,I simply can't. I mean,I don't know what is exactly wrong, but lyrics i simply cannot pen down,ever... I have composed two songs written by my friends but lyrics from me are like impossible. Anyway, people have been putting up pictures of pujo2009 all over facebook,its interesting. And Sreerupa put up this awesome Benglish poem.

Check it out:

Through the jongole I am went
On shooting Tiger I am bent
Boshtaard Tiger has eaten wife
No doubt I will avenge poor darling's life
Too much quiet, snakes and leeches
But I not fear these sons of beeches
Hearing loud noise I am jumping with start
But noise is coming from damn fool's heart
Taking care not to be fright
I am clutching rifle tight with eye to sight
Should Tiger come I will shoot and fall him down
Then like hero return to native town
Then through trees I am espying one cave
I am telling self - "Bannerjee be brave"
I am now proceeding with too much care
From far I smell this Tiger's lair
My leg shaking, sweat coming, I start pray
I think I will shoot Tiger some other day
Turning round I am going to flee
But Tiger giving bloody roar spotting Bengalee
He bounding from cave like footballer Pele
I run shouting "Kali Ma tumi kothay gele "
Through the jongole I am running
With Tiger on my tail closer looming
I am a telling that never in life
I will take risk again for my damn fool wife !!!!!


Heh!! And she's put up this pic of her and Agni i really liked,very much. Its as if telling a story,of everything between them,the hope to go on, yet the hopelessness without each other,a happiness not shared with others, you look at Srrr's hand-its as if she is clinging on to Agni,either that, or "gheti dhore narabe mone hochche agnir", and knowing her,its most probably the latter. But her n Agni's expression say a different story. Its a contented picture. I looked at the pic the first time and felt happy for them suddenly and smiled.

The song's playing, nothing else suddenly matters, I feel contented myself.There are so many people in my life,hello-hi people,close people, not so close people,I do not know who to keep up with,its difficult sometimes. And trying to catch up with a part of my life,if i miss out on some other part,People in that part get cross n pissed at me,what do I do? Its tiring sometimes. I sometimes feel I think too much,but circumstances force it,and I am left wondering what to do...??I need to talk to someone,really. Sometimes it becomes difficult to deal with,all of it...N I can't seem to get with it alone.It seems stoopid,But yeah,that is exactly what happens. I feel like having chocolates.... :(

Alarming Thoughts....

When i woke up today to the sound of my cellphone buzzing somehwere under the pillows and sheets, a memory came back suddenly,a funny one. During my school years, I could never wake up in time for school. 630 a.m. was like "aaaargh!!yawn!! yawnss!!!". I remember getting up early sometimes even to study for an exam, covered in sheets. Winter was painful I remember.

Anyway, the getting up part was painful. Now its a different issue,I get up when I wanna. Back then I used to go to sleep with six or seven alarms all around my head,in strategic positions so that if one did get muffled by the pillow,I would hear some other one. 2 or 3 small alarm clocks, my digital watch(those were a craze then,with the stopwatch and the background light), Dad's cellphone(the huge antenna'd black ones from back then) and of course dad's wake up call which seemed to be the perfect and best way to get up. And i remember once what i did-there was a phase when i would somehow shut off all the alarms in slumber and get back to sleep again,I don't know how. So I rigged up something. I have this red coloured stereo player and a microphone. I connected the player to the plugpoint and attached the microphone. Setting the volume a bit o the high, I placed the microphone near the Cellphone speaker and the player at my head. So Technically I used one alarm to get up then in the morning. But the thing did work,I got up successfully. Every morning for a few days,the stereo would scream out the alarms and lo n behold!!! I was up!!! (^_^)

Shaptami 2009

I just spent the whole day at home basically. I slept all morning ,watched TV and hogged at home-fried rice n chilli fish. At around 5pm I simply couldn't take sitting at home anymore!!! I got dressed and stepped outside into the throng...yes...Babubagan has been pulling crowds this time cuz of its Pujo Theme...'DurgaBhobon'...watever that is. Anyway,I didnt have anything to do or anyone to go anywhere with. I called Sreerupa, having lunch. So wat i did was go to Abhirup's place. From there we decided to go to Ballygunge Cultural Association, to watch Neel da n dad perform.

On the way, we saw a weird thing, A small para pujo had its dhaakis playing in front of the pandal, and all the dhaakis were wearing football jerseys,socks and shorts, very unlike the traditional dhoti kurta they normally wear,n they were jumping all over the place as they played. this was the first time I have ever seen anything like this.Anyway,Puntu kaka n Tanaya kakima joined me there. N oh,Got to meet school seniors n rony n rohit da there..Felt wonderfully nice... (^_^) Anyway the show started around 715pm, we watched till around 745 pm,then left for Maddox Square where dia n school ppl were waiting for us. On the way,Puntu Kaka stopped at this mishtir dokaan n said that he wanted to have this "chomchom" which was "famous" supposedly. Tanaya kakima made a face,"yeesh,biyer aage ekbar khaiyechilo, puro mone hoyechilo chaar chamoch chini khelam" !! :) At Maddox, I left them wid Dia and disappeared...

There was mud n 'bhepuus" n people screaming everywhere. Simi called,met her..she said, "i am feeling very sick,please come with me, I need to have food, CCd chol joldi"....that's what confirmed it...I said"ami jani keno tui jachchish baire"..She pressed on"keno bolto?" I said,"na an ulto palta bokchi...chol chol" and as we turned at the gate, there was the butterfly perched on the bamboo railings...*beams* I was surprised n happy n so many things suddenly at the same time...But i somehow knew it all along...that she would come. There had been too many hints all the way...But we did make our way to CCD,all of us...And in all of my excitement,i forgot the most crucial point-the puja menu at CCD, capitalist extortion that is...You will not get any normal stuff on Pujo days, they have all the overpriced stuff,which they overprice more with compulsory chocolate sauce and ice cream...We footed the bill at 360 bucks for 2 mere cups of coffee n a plate of cheese balls.Shit!!! Absolute pile loads of it!!! anyway...then it was dinnertime...I Bappa Ashin and simi went off to Azad Hind Dhaba for dinner....returning around 1230 in the night...

Shashti 2009

Just as we were about to get out, came down the fat drops of rain. Oindrila called," bari jabooo.... please ami ekhane aar thakte parchi na... n i hav a boil on my eyelid... :( :( ". Am Sad. Then came down the water,its been a long tym since i saw something like this...South Calcutta got thoroughly washed today..THOROUGHLY. We did manage to start out with rain pouring down, gushing all around the car, got to Saltlake, picked up Ru n didibhai n went on to see the pujos at DumDum Park,Sreebhumi park,Laketown, Telengabagan and ultimately and as usual, Bagbazar. Its our hotspot. But we'd arrived early,the rides hadn't started even. We got this bubble blower there,me and Dia-all the way back, bubbles surrounded us like flies around a fire.So we made our way back to Deshapriyo Park for the rides. What a sight!!! You could have a mudbath there easily,hassle free, free of cost. But it was worth it. We sloshed through, to the Pirate Ship and screamed our lungs off every time the wind rushed past and the ship went down as we sat on its end. Crystal Chopstix served as our dinner haunt. and thats it....Shashti well spent, in the company of loved ones...laughing at silly jokes, cracking jokes that would make someone outside our world put hands on their ears, fighting, screaming, doing what our hearts wanted.

This is the way Pujo should be-we hardly saw any pujos in the 7 hrs we spent in the car, but every moment together was n is worth visiting all of the pujos. Dia's shoes got remarked at by some random girl on the street as "yeesh,ki baaje dekhte meyetar juto ta", Ru started laughing so loudly on the streets, that a girl in front stopped actually to turn around to stare and then tell her companion" baba,meyeta kemni kore heshe uthlo hotath". And oh shit, we didnt have cotton candy today!!! Its been a tradition,every year, No one remembered this year...i did have a feeling we were forgetting something at Bagbazar!!! Something has to be done about it, Cant believe everyone just forgot....!!! tomorrow,rather,today's saptami...have no fixed plans yet, lets see where Pujo takes me today....

Pujo 2009 etc etc...

Pujo 2009 starts today, Maha Shashti today. Pujo is so early today. Its good in a way. The time is great, with a hint of rain pattering throughout the day. It always rains during Pujo, always, don't know why. But I feel old this time. There isn't that interest to go pandal hopping that i used to go in my younger years. It all feels the same. Except that u gotta go see the Pandals, Made of different materials. But what difference does it make? In the end, its the same idol of Durga and her children. Its been a long time since i have been to the 'thakurghor' in my house. People need a belief to hang on to. A hope that will keep them going, an energy to carry on with life's valleys. Yes some people do find that solace in their gods. I don't have one. Before an exam students pray. Even i have,but to exactly who am i referring to here? I have no answer to that. Its just that I have always found that I am happy when I am with my friends and family. I have found out that that's what keeps me going. N i have found that life turns out to be good always somehow. Yes,it happens with me too-good times pass fast while the bad ones last. But I somehow now cling to the hope that betterment is on its way... that's my hope that's my belief,not the idols. But every person has their own forms of belief, I respect that. Pujo,now i believe,is to be enjoyed and experienced in phases. This phase is simply to delve into the spirit of it, enjoy the warm-heartedness,love and addas. Gone is the time when pandal hopping was a thrill, going far off to see prize-winning pujos a different fervor altogether. That phase will come back again I know.But that's a different time in the future-When it is up to you to see the kids enjoy the pujos. The energy will be new then,refreshed. I wish this phase would stay. Sure,it would mean the staying back of all the worries and responsibilities of our growing age but its worth it. It does seem childish,these whims of mine.But i really wish so. I am happy with the way things are in my life. Apart from the constant worries of my future career where i wanna do so many things,there's a bliss. I have my friends, my family always.That's a lot for me. Life's short,too damn short,there's so much i wanna do. But i gotta wait till the right time. Sometimes i feel like plunging ahead....y don't i just get into the thing i wanna do? But something holds me back,a little voice in the back of my head tells me," stop idiot, you've got a lot to right now. there are a lot of things on your mind which u have to do first,i am your mind, i know, i feel the burden". And i stop in my tracks, my thought wavers on it for a while and then i force it to disappear. I have no specific plans this pujo, today,I am going out with my cousins, Saptami no plans as such yet, Oshtomi will be at pia didiz n then whole night with school frends, n Nobomi Doshomi again no plans as such.Oindrila's not gonna be here this pujo,will miss her this time. we do have fun together.Anyway, much about it all, have to sleep,really. Gotta wake up tomorrow to a day full of fun and laughter. :)

My car won't budge...Even though its as classy as that one...

When you sit back to try n enjoy life, it gets kind of difficult you'll notice. You're laid back, chilled, thinking of things that have just rushed past you, of people you need to catch up with etc. But the moment you try and do something like that, you are bound to get caught in a mind snarl. Your car won't budge from its place. And you enter a state of numbness, idleness that you can't even defend with enough reasons if someone points it out to you. And its difficult coming out of it. There has to be a proper distraction to get you out of it. A major one. Period.