A Bluer Christmas

I can hear all the quiet suddenly.
Its nowhere near what quiet used to be.
The lights are quieter & the streets seem new
There aren't many who're trying to break free.

I don't know how long it has been
One day u left home just suddenly
And all i can now do is yearn for you.
Run in circles to find a sign of you.


I won't give up yet
I'd wait a thousand winters if I could
I will see u yet
Come back soon before I start to forget.


Scattered in lights the city shines brand new.
The cold is come the winter wind is biting blue.
But with u not around my summers are even cold.
Christmas will be bluer again without you.



I won't give up yet
I'd wait a thousand winters if I could
I will see u yet
Come back soon before I start to forget.

Some.Day

Somedays you lay back to think of what to do.
Somedays are when you have nothing left to do.
Somedays are when you tell yourself its alright.
Somedays are when just nothing seems to be right.
Somedays you look outside and you know what to do.
Somedays you keep staring without ever meaning to.
Somedays never seem to pass when you want it so bad.
Somedays are so good that you never know when its passed.
Somedays you call a friend to tell them what is wrong.
Somedays you keep to yourself and tell yourself to be strong.
Somedays are lonelier and you want someone by your side.
Somedays are so full of life you forget to see the light.


Someday you will realize what you did was fine.
Someday you will realize there's no need for lying.
Someday you will realize that you cant just have it all.
The closest you will get is when you start to fall.

Uncertain reasons of joy

A small part of me knows when to step back
but most of the times I never listen to it.
I know my steps forward can never always bring me luck
but I try nevertheless with utmost conviction.

Blessed is he who cannot know what is right or wrong
because in our world of uncertainty
there is always an existential fight.
you may never know where or what you did wrong.
but deep down,u believe it or not,
u know you alone are responsible.

I try n try hard to please everyone in sight
end up failing myself
flailing arms open wide.
I go ahead barge full steam.
and when I have crossed the line
I am sorry more than i have ever been.

"A little gesture goes a long way" 'they' say
I dunno where 'they' came from
because i find all the words there to be astray.

But at the end of every trip
I find time to look back.
and laughter comes gushing forth somehow
whether i did wrong or right.
The delight is unbounded.
The reason is still unknown.
All i know is I am ready
for my next trip that's in store.

Sixteen

When i was sixteen
I cudnt stop staring
Stealing glances
At all the women passing by.

The class teacher
As well as the tutor
And the girl
In the next house in the sweater.


But hey wasn’t it fun?
To be looking at a whole new dimension?
And yeah! Call it fortune
That I was never the serious one.

U can very well imagine now
The man that I am
But I’ll be glad to tell u ur wrong.

Theres a whole new side to me
That I never knew existed
N its wilder than what I’d known.


So yeah! Isn’t it fun?
To be feeling up a whole new dimension?
And yeah! Call it fortune
That I was never the serious one.

Fade

Fade away slowly till u seem like smoke.
Then fade farther till u don't sting any one's eyes.
She wouldn't miss you i bet,
nor would anyone else.
It wouldn't seem much of a surprise.

Lie close to her, hold her heart so it doesn't break,
speak nothings to her so she can sleep off slow.
Do it once, twice and then everyday.
If your not smoke by then u can have your way.

Bring them flowers, take them places.
With a smile on your face, show u don't care for yourself.
Do it once,twice and then everyday.
If your not smoke by then u can have your way.

You don't have the strength it takes to smile anymore.
What use are you if you can't make it rain anymore?
All trouble wants is contentment.
Contentment on the other hand doesn't recognize itself.
Before u have time to seize the day, the day seizes u,
ties u down,strangles u.
Keep working at the knots, you'll never break free.
Keep fading away to smoke, yeah then your free.

The Traitor

Never did he falter on his way
A little school boy carrying a yellow balloon on Sundays
The ruffled hair, eyes taking in everything
Surprised and confused yet knowing in a way
Contented in his troubles
Consumed by the population
It was always his renditions
Which got him through the days.


Sunlit kid, wont u look at me once?
Turn your eyes back one last time?
Let me see the eyes for a moment.
Where have u waded in your sorrow?
Seeping memories don’t last forever
Sleeping ones do, from beneath the earth.


When the wind blows that fringe over your forehead
I am reminded once again
Of the little boy I lost somewhere.
I killed you and you killed me again and again.
No wrong was left to right.


As the last bird flew away
And the guns echoed their fearful roars
I watched as you finally turned to me.


The crowd screamed their satisfaction
While I watched the balloon rise to the clouds.
The green on the other side welcomed you as you sank in the pool of red.
Helpless,
Breathless,
Expressionless.
A single tear licked my nose as I steered my sight to the skies above.


A small pool of light fell on your ruffled hair,
Brown glinted off it while your eyes stared and stared.
With practiced steps, the mechanical whores
Scooped you up and laid you bare.
The trumpet marshaled triumph
The people cried in joy.
The traitor, a hole in his head
The nation couldn’t spare.

Falling....

Its not been many years down the road
But they make u feel its been a long long time.
Its time now they understood who u r.
The little boy isn't around anymore.

They never asked you how things were.
Expected u to just tell them everything.
But what they never saw was that little seed of anger ready to bloom any day.
You wanted your way and they,theirs.
Since you didn't talk that much,it made things hard.
Hard to arrive at a compromise.

So you went your way, and they went theirs.
Occasionally your roads would meet.
And an outburst would be inevitable.
A volley of screams and incoherent words would follow.
Things haven't changed, they still look the same.
Just that you keep praying for no more of it
In the days that are yet to come.

But after all this time,yes you have grown.
From that lonely kid in that green colored room to a lonely man in the same.
The others don't seem to bother, and get on with their ways.
You try to follow suit, but end up lonely again.
It's all a lie you convince yourself
But all you do in fact,is hide yourself.
There are reasons to be out there, be free and let it rain.
But the lies have made you cynical of what is actually sane.