Wattaya want from me???

I know you meant good and had good intentions and all, but I don't like you meddling and poking your noses into every bit of my life that you very well know have been private all these years. There are somethings that I just don't want your helping hand in. I like to keep to myself and its been that way for years. You, of all people should know that. Its like that Grammy nominated song this year- Half of my heart by John Mayer feat Taylor Swift. It was all fine with Mayer just doing it. Swift sings 2 lines in the song. And as soon as I hear that voice suddenly in the middle of that song, I feel an urgent need to turn it off. Do your feat. thing in the background throughout. Why those 2 lines? N all of a sudden! Its a turn off. Big time!

Here I am sitting in my own room, minding my own business. Suddenly you have to come in n start your rants. About everything. Seems like everything I do and everything I don't is a problem. How on earth is taht even possible? How can everything I do be wrong? How? I keep my room clean, don't meddle much, hang out with my friends, eat, sleep a lot, much like my counterparts of the same generation. Most of it is okay. Some stuff I understand you may have a problem with. But everything? :O Wattaya want from me??? Nothing I say gives you an assurance that I can do it right. You always wanna have a say, cuz u think ur right. All the time. Not possible!!!! And as soon as u stick ur nose, I get pissed and irritated. Wattaya want from me?


Silent Hopes

Eyes open, thoughts aloud
Rainfall pattering on the roof
Stares blank with open palms
While nothingness stares back at him.

Everyday, the tranquil morn,
Noiseless midday skies entrance him
The heartache of dusk, the suffocating night
Stirs something inside him.

“Is there hope anymore?
I am tired of being where I can’t live anymore
My lies, my faults make me repent
Make me yearn for a silence I could never endure.”

Wishes float countless in my heart now
Hopes that’ll always remain unfulfilled
Longings for a better place without all the noise
So that I, mankind, could have lived on still.


When you walk through that door
dressed in green and black,
and that lipstick red smeared across your face;
Lightning strikes my heart again, For a moment you take me to this world of pain.

Yet I stand there, taking in the sight,
I just can't tear my eyes from you.

Yes I stand there, frozen in the lights,

The lights turn red, you split open the night.

I'm me, you are you,
Electric passes across the room.

You're me, and I'm you,

You catch my gaze, erupt in fire too.

And we leave the place in the dead of the night,
The night's freezing, but it's hot tonight.
And it's brazen, lost in twirling strands.

It's crescendo of black(/harsh) marching bands.


This is the lyrics to one of my songs, Brishti, posted on this page. Its written party by me and partly by a cousin.

Kalo megh brishti bheja shondhabela

Bujhte na chawa shei swapno firey dekha
Kawthar araley,kothaye harale
Shushko ei je mon bheja diney….

Ashbe tumi abar,brishti baar baar,
Bhulbe nato chinte amaye amar moton dine…..


Chelebelar schooler chuti

Shomoy pichonor ajuhaath

Bhije sriti, firey dekha
Harano din….



I don't need you to be around when all you do is hurt.
I'll teach myself to make it through even though it hurts.
I know the night's gonna come soon and I'll be wondering again what went wrong.
But tonight's my night,
Today's my day,
I won't rest till i make a place among the stars.



Its time for a change. A change much needed. Fresh air, new stars to see, new places to stay, new people to meet. A craving like this has been rearing its head n flaring its nostrils now for quite some time. Kolkata, in spite of all the fun, the old friends and the humongous family, is a dead end. SMACK!!! on the wall kind! You stay here, all you feel is nostalgia, an uncontrollable sense of pseudowisom, and the unwelcome feeling of being old now and then. You just grow and grow and time flies by as you enjoy yourself with everyone. But as the day ends, you start wondering about what happened to you?
You're 21 already, ready to dive into that world full of dirty people, politics, jobs, salaries, responsibilities, news, technology, children, new family roles etc but something claws at that long long long thought process, another uncanny retrograde line of thought. In a flash you see your world, every person and every moment and all that you did. The conclusion: what did 'I' do?

Are you ready yet? And you realize Kolkata is what started it, Kolkata is what ends it. Its like a parasite. The saddest part? You don't even realize when it settled on so bad. Life for someone like you, influenced so much by western culture, looked down upon by so many, who finds solace in little things that the bigger picture is never apparent, is not Kolkata. You think it is, but you are so wrong you realize slowly. Even then that conscious effort to persevere and get out is a tenacious one. You realize Kolkata's evergreen ambience of laziness in you.

A place where every system is wrong, where there are no rules for anyone, where the right are wrong and the wrong are right- I wonder why is it that such a place needs a government to rule it? It makes no difference whatsoever. The most important word for any settlement, any society to grow in the proper definition- ETHICS. A word which is just superficially there or not at all in most parts of Kolkata. That's where you start-comply, cooperate, agree, consent, decide, a proper well informed coordinated unanimously agreed start. If that's in place, there's no looking back. But here we are.

Tearing each other apart, blood boiling in our veins, ripped by slyness, thievery and malice, haunted every single day by the nightmares of our society, running away from the joys on offer, ending up curled in a corner with eyes wide open in fright, wonder, shock, awe, realization at the might of life.


It's getting dark outside The winter cold almost upon us, I know you are thinking about me as I am about you. We are cut from the sa...