Its been quite a while now. Quite a while that am "growing up". The whole process is so complicated, with twists and turns everywhere. Why couldn't it have been a simple straight road? But accepting everything without any other options, i understand it is part of the whole package. There is no way out. Watching films, reading books gave us dimensions in hypernumbers to look forward to. But there is just one way to look. All those stories, the songs are just to help us along the way, a kind of a guide.
I landed a job at Tech Mahindra on the 13th of June,2011. Since then, life has been ultrasmooth somehow. There isn't any threat of eminent exams, no constant bickering with parents, no filling out applications. after 17 years of academics, this does feel rewarding most definitely. But then again, a sense of responsibility, fulfillment, nervousness, apprehension, anxiety, happiness are all mixing, meddling and swirling together to form a very large imaginary incomprehensible mass inside my brain. I am not confused anymore that I know. This is suddenly a new feeling. I now know that when I go out now, I will have acredit card in my wallet, and that very wallet which was once almost empty all the time but filled with scraps of paper, tickets, and other odds and ends will now have bills from shops, cards, ID's, photographs etc etc. That simple little wallet will grow up suddenly too. It all feels so sudden and weird.
My life has been branching out too increasingly. And with all the expanding, I find less and less time for all the people in it. True that I spend a lot of my time at home, but then again I guess it's not just me. Old friends, new friends, keeping track of them all is difficult. Life is taking strange turns. I spend time at the bank, I have to do my own shopping, my parents aren't complaining when I stay out late, they don't have a problem with me watching movies, going out everyday. I know I yearned for all that to stop but I think I kinda miss all that. Its human nature, I guess, to stay in that safe zone; familiarity with the surroundings topping everything else. I never ever in the weirdest, most extreme,wildest of my dreams thought I would miss having school/college, stuff to do, study, listen to parents screaming at me. It just doesn't make sense or does it??
:) :)
7/27/11
7/12/11
Jingle Bells
Well, out of boredom, and amidst a writer's block, this is what I came up with. :P Here is a retake on Jingle Bells. :D
N.B. : Just pronounce Ferrari as Ferraray
Dashing through the snow
In a blood red Ferrari
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Girls all wearing bling
Getting spirit-high
What fun it is to laugh and sing
Any song tonight
Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a blood red Ferrari
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
A girl in a Ferrari
A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride
And soon all the Fanny Brights
Were seated by my side
The night was Christmassy
everything was to top notch
Till one miss fanny bright
Spilled over all the scotch.
Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a blood red Ferrari
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
A girl in a Ferrari
7/1/11
Somewhere
Yes somewhere when u found me
I took to u like a blanket on a cold cold night
It was there that i knew what to do about u.
Hushed up smiles, and joy unbound made way through time
while time tried in vain to catch up with us.
Summers spent on swings
listening to guitar making way for frost.
Winters abuzz with people on the street
made us desolate to lost.
In spite of the little joys,
the longing lingered on.
A heartless animal like it seemed to power on.
Rains collected sheets of vapor on the glass,
gave us slates to write us upon.
drops of sweat united
till the heart inside was torn.
Besides that scarf u wore the other day
ur sweater is still with me
the purple one with the whites drawn in
that u wore the day i set u free.
Call upon the wine to stir the night up
a bit of cheese and a rose will do to light up ur face.
We'll wear sunglasses and strut about heroes.
Dangerous in the night to each other,
Yet wanted in a way unexplained.
Soothed by your touch,
you're electrified by my feel,
There are stories that will keep on coming
By the first kiss did we seal.
I took to u like a blanket on a cold cold night
It was there that i knew what to do about u.
Hushed up smiles, and joy unbound made way through time
while time tried in vain to catch up with us.
Summers spent on swings
listening to guitar making way for frost.
Winters abuzz with people on the street
made us desolate to lost.
In spite of the little joys,
the longing lingered on.
A heartless animal like it seemed to power on.
Rains collected sheets of vapor on the glass,
gave us slates to write us upon.
drops of sweat united
till the heart inside was torn.
Besides that scarf u wore the other day
ur sweater is still with me
the purple one with the whites drawn in
that u wore the day i set u free.
Call upon the wine to stir the night up
a bit of cheese and a rose will do to light up ur face.
We'll wear sunglasses and strut about heroes.
Dangerous in the night to each other,
Yet wanted in a way unexplained.
Soothed by your touch,
you're electrified by my feel,
There are stories that will keep on coming
By the first kiss did we seal.
6/24/11
In time...
This is for every friend with whom ways have parted. Maybe we are in touch, maybe we are not. Its for anyone with who my time and place do not coincide with theirs. After college, when we are all headed out to change our lives, it's a completely different feeling from the one after school.
Someday when there's no dream to follow
I'll find you.
But isn't there always a question of why I never tried before?
It was never because I didn't want to,
It was because I couldn't.
And in time we will meet
Sit beside the moon on a sheet
And in no time we will be back here to where we are
Where you are busy etching the scars.
If it wasn't for you,
I'd never know what to do.
Someday when there's no dream to follow
I'll find you.
But isn't there always a question of why I never tried before?
It was never because I didn't want to,
It was because I couldn't.
And in time we will meet
Sit beside the moon on a sheet
And in no time we will be back here to where we are
Where you are busy etching the scars.
If it wasn't for you,
I'd never know what to do.
6/20/11
Riverfront lament
Who's to say what has been,
a blatant show of love forgot.
The sky mirrors what today has been.
The fire red clouds are hard to miss.
The Demon savors all he's brought to his side,
a maniac laugh even the Gods cannot deny.
Every man rode into the battle,
knowing what was in store.
Did they not wish for just a moment,
that they had sat behind closed doors?
What is strength without belief?
What is courage without honor?
An empty little pot sitting alone in a corner.
My sword shines wickedly still
while the men's wounds scream.
A thousand ants now march in rhythm
to turn the red in to green.
A battle lost, a battle won
never seemed to matter in my dreams.
I wish waking up was an option here
And all I remembered was the stream.
who's decide what will be?
Gently the river weeps for those lost.
a blatant show of love forgot.
The sky mirrors what today has been.
The fire red clouds are hard to miss.
The Demon savors all he's brought to his side,
a maniac laugh even the Gods cannot deny.
Every man rode into the battle,
knowing what was in store.
Did they not wish for just a moment,
that they had sat behind closed doors?
What is strength without belief?
What is courage without honor?
An empty little pot sitting alone in a corner.
My sword shines wickedly still
while the men's wounds scream.
A thousand ants now march in rhythm
to turn the red in to green.
A battle lost, a battle won
never seemed to matter in my dreams.
I wish waking up was an option here
And all I remembered was the stream.
Powerdrug
Damnation;
is all that the world cares about.
Through eternity there has been but one truth:
to search, to find. to destroy.
That's not just us, but whoever roams the earth.
Every moment in life counted, every second ticks less as u move ahead.
Not a stone left unturned in the search for freedom.
A word that no longer holds the meaning it once held
We are but whores to the search for freedom:
swaying in its scent, dancing to its power, misguided through life.
Isn't it obvious that freedom is a myth?
Then why the centuries of bloodshed?
You find reason in the back of your mind,
in the voices that tell you to forge your sword.
The voices lie, as do those around you.
One little foray into what man can do unto himself
and man knows what he is capable of.
Yet there are others who stop at nothing to make fools of themselves.
No reason is a good one to suffocate the children,
No reason good enough to explain why the women suffer.
No reason why at all man should power through
while making the innocent pay.
Its not what you know that makes u a man.
Its who you are underneath all that .
Power is a drug
and one whiff of the wrong one will lead but unto death.
inevitably.
invariably.
understandably.
forcefully.
Every man faces the one question at every point in his life:
which path do I take?
Little knowing that there is always a choice,
its never a dead end.
There is no one who can bound another in chains forever.
Nobody is entitled to his life being taken away.
Man plays God, while worshipping an idol of a different kind.
The earth beneath bleeds it out for what man's happiness and woes.
In the eternal search for what is his,
man has destroyed not just his but the One who gives him life.
Saturation.
Redemption.
Salvation.
is all that the world cares about.
Through eternity there has been but one truth:
to search, to find. to destroy.
That's not just us, but whoever roams the earth.
Every moment in life counted, every second ticks less as u move ahead.
Not a stone left unturned in the search for freedom.
A word that no longer holds the meaning it once held
We are but whores to the search for freedom:
swaying in its scent, dancing to its power, misguided through life.
Isn't it obvious that freedom is a myth?
Then why the centuries of bloodshed?
You find reason in the back of your mind,
in the voices that tell you to forge your sword.
The voices lie, as do those around you.
One little foray into what man can do unto himself
and man knows what he is capable of.
Yet there are others who stop at nothing to make fools of themselves.
No reason is a good one to suffocate the children,
No reason good enough to explain why the women suffer.
No reason why at all man should power through
while making the innocent pay.
Its not what you know that makes u a man.
Its who you are underneath all that .
Power is a drug
and one whiff of the wrong one will lead but unto death.
inevitably.
invariably.
understandably.
forcefully.
Every man faces the one question at every point in his life:
which path do I take?
Little knowing that there is always a choice,
its never a dead end.
There is no one who can bound another in chains forever.
Nobody is entitled to his life being taken away.
Man plays God, while worshipping an idol of a different kind.
The earth beneath bleeds it out for what man's happiness and woes.
In the eternal search for what is his,
man has destroyed not just his but the One who gives him life.
Saturation.
Redemption.
Salvation.
6/8/11
What a wonderful world....
Its never too late to start or stop anything. Life, in all its courses, has a queer way of treating you like a ship in churning waters sometimes. There are times, on the other hand, where you simply do not realize how time is flying by because you're enjoying every moment of it. When such times start you say to yourself, "Thank God, now that the bad times are done, I will learn as much as I can out of what is to follow". But it doesn't happen, and in a flash, you're in churning waters again.
Tossed and thrown about, you cannot help but wonder at the might being forced on you. It is scary but then the very thought about how you threw away the past is useless. No doubt that without the past there would be no present and without the present, no future, but all you can do is cling on to the present. True, the future is damn scary. But then, trying to go back to the past just because you are familiar with it is hopeless. Tempting. But a mistake. To be unhappy, it takes a very short while. But getting back happiness takes a lot more time than ever. Human beings have a tendency to claw at the sadness in their lives, just because they are associated with the most precious moments in their lives. Hence, getting back that happiness is a huge hurdle. Anyone managing to do that and keep himself there(or maybe not) is a true winner. And the best part about being the winner here? You get to be so anytime you decide, anytime you want. You do that and there are people all around to cheer. Losing out ain't so bad, there's no one to jeer. Even if u do lose out, springing back to the winner's stand is completely your will.
"Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true."
That is what the present is all about. However much it hurts, however much it gives you joy, that is all there is for you to live for.
Tossed and thrown about, you cannot help but wonder at the might being forced on you. It is scary but then the very thought about how you threw away the past is useless. No doubt that without the past there would be no present and without the present, no future, but all you can do is cling on to the present. True, the future is damn scary. But then, trying to go back to the past just because you are familiar with it is hopeless. Tempting. But a mistake. To be unhappy, it takes a very short while. But getting back happiness takes a lot more time than ever. Human beings have a tendency to claw at the sadness in their lives, just because they are associated with the most precious moments in their lives. Hence, getting back that happiness is a huge hurdle. Anyone managing to do that and keep himself there(or maybe not) is a true winner. And the best part about being the winner here? You get to be so anytime you decide, anytime you want. You do that and there are people all around to cheer. Losing out ain't so bad, there's no one to jeer. Even if u do lose out, springing back to the winner's stand is completely your will.
"Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true."
That is what the present is all about. However much it hurts, however much it gives you joy, that is all there is for you to live for.
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