7/12/18

Stereotypes

I live in Alpharetta, Georgia in the USA in this community where we have a few other Indian families living too. On Saturday afternoons, it's common to see kids from the community running around or playing  at the children's park. I usually go to the gym at night but it being a Saturday, I didn't have work and went to the gym in the afternoon. While there, the gym door opens and two little girls come in. No one except me was in the gym that day and these two girls come in and start playing around the gym floor, running on the treadmills, sliding on it, fiddling with the weight machines etc. Out of concern of them getting hurt somehow, I asked them not to play around with the machines and the treadmill. The older one of the two immediately chirped in saying that they came to the gym everyday around that time to run and play around. Both of them had really long hair tied in braids and of course there was a chance that it could get caught up between the treadmill's rolling mat and it's sides while they sat on it and slid to the end.

The older one then proceeded to ask me if I came everyday. I said yes but at night. She said she had never seen me. I told her it was probably because I came to the gym at night after work. She said okay and proceeded to tell me entire details about herself and her family without me having asked for any. Kids I tell you! Her name was V(let's say) and her sister's name was P. Her dad worked in an IT firm and her mother was a housewife. She was 9 and her sister was 7 and she liked teasing her sister a lot and her sister never said anything to her. She liked mangoes and her dad was very busy at work, on Saturdays too. Such details without having asked for them lol!

She asked me where I was from, I said from West Bengal. She said she didn't know where that was and explained that when she came to USA a few years ago, she forgot about India geography. They were originally from Tamil Nadu.  She asked me where West Bengal was in India. I told her it was in the east of India, up towards the north and the east. She said she knew about Punjab only in the North and then flatly said, "So you are not from South India, you don't like eating dosa then". I really couldn't say anything and she didn't give a chance to even and she asked me if I have a wife. I said no and told them I live alone. Her reaction to this? "So how do you eat? You must be eating outside mostly" with an expression that said she was sympathizing. I told her that I didn't, I cooked myself. Her reaction to this? "Oh so you are aunty?" I was like why? She said because you know auntys cook and my mother also cooks and my father works. I asked her "Does your father never cook or does he not know how to?" She said "No he can cook, but he only cooks chicken sometimes but he is always working and he works till late night". I asked her, "So will you call your father an aunty because he cooks?"  She said, "No no, he is our father, how can he be aunty?" I didn't press further. Acting on this mindset that was suddenly presented by them, I told them that till a month ago I used to have long hair that went below my shoulders. They were shocked and said, "but how can you have long hair? We have long hair, are you a woman?" and giggled. I didn't press further again. I changed the subject and asked them why aren't you playing outside or swimming like the other kids? V says: "No our father told us not to go swimming." I asked why. V said: "He says we will become black, see my sister is already so black, I am still brown" I really didn't know what to say to this and looked at her sister who probably was a little offended and hit her sister. And immediately they started running around, trying to hit each other.

I stood where I was and looked at them and wondered how it was that these little girls, living and being brought up in such a connected and globalized world, had these above notions ingrained into them at such a young age of nine and seven. They had been living in the USA for years now and went to a school where there were students from different backgrounds and yet these notions were seeded into their young minds. I understand that it's more probable thing to happen in India where the social environment could play a role but this was a different society, a different environment and I wondered where things had gone and was still going wrong. 

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