Haul Ass

I am caught in the headlights right now. Like a speeding car and a deer crossing the road in front of it suspended in time. I have three choices- make extra efforts to jump back or jump ahead out of the way or stay where I am. Because the moment this suspension in time ends, time will speed up indefinitely and no normal efforts to move out of the way will matter, it has to be way extra than normal. 

Now the driver has three choices too. He can keep plowing ahead, he can careen left or he can careen right. The brakes would never work in time.

So what do you do?

I don’t know how the driver will react, the driver doesn’t know how the deer will react. I may get saved as soon as the time suspension is up or I may get killed as soon as the time suspension is up. Keeping still, going left or right and putting extra efforts wouldn’t matter- I am fucked either way because I don’t know if the driver cares about deer or not.

That’s the thing with life. Consider each moment, dilemma, situation as suspended in time, the outcome of which can be anything, however much you put in efforts or you don’t. People say no, it’s up to you, how you make your life. Sure, it is. But it’s just till taking a decision, just till the point where you decide if you are going forward or backward or staying still. This is where most people’s advice stop: “You should move forward in your life, or keep doing what you are doing and you will succeed one day etc.” The advice doesn’t take into account realities of outcomes of the decisions.

After the decision, you are not in control because you don’t have control over what’s coming toward you. And what’s coming toward you has its own decision to make and take its own course of action- which may leave your ass alive or leave your ass to die.

The only thing you can keep doing in life is keep trying to save your ass and haul ass at the right moments. You are really not in control. The moment you take a new road, you are a part of the people, the cars, the weather, the dogs and everything on that road. Either way, you are fucked somewhere, somehow.