them Clouds...

Think I'll storm them clouds once
Every morning they approach
And pass over me like the drones of war.

Every bit of the earth I see in them
Every bit of what's lost
And every bit of what is.

They know everything, them clouds,
and I can just wish
Wish for them clouds to tell me all.

Once I saw a shooting star
Streaking in their camouflage
of black and blue.
And once i saw or thought I did
A sledge full of wishes
On a cold cold night.

Them clouds hide 'em all
And play tricks on our eyes
Showing what's not or what might be.
And being the angry men we are,
We rage and speed
to look for what might not be there at all
Just because them clouds played tricks.

Some are pretty and some are strange
But them clouds know it all
Know all of what I ever want to know.

Travelling for years on end
Watching the world grow
They arrive in the morning
from the eastern sky.

Black and white
Or purple with rage
Or a hint of the early morning blues.

The gunfire and the deaths
The roar of the canons
Still echoing in their depths.
The children and the people
And the love that they shared
Floating forever in the unreachable wilderness.

They will not forget
And will not let us do so
That is why they show us what might be and what might not.

Them clouds they storm the morning sky
And pass over me
like drones of war.
Them clouds that I would like to storm
to unearth all their secrets
Them clouds that existed before we were born.

Dawn Breaks and all hell breaks loose...

I don't know if it's just me or everyone else. When dawn breaks, I get a very weird feeling. I mean, yes, I have the habit of staying awake the whole night since class 11 and very often till dawn breaks, but even after all these years I get a weird feeling everytime. Dawn's breaking as I type. And I realised that I need to get it out today somehow. At this moment everyone is asleep. Everyone, whether at home or the hostel. Everyone is soundly sleeping.And here I am typing away or playing games or reading or studying,whatever.

Thoughts cross my mind now, streak across like meteors, whizzing past each other, showing themselves on the brain screen where I get to see them and then rushing away. I do not know why it happens exactly in spite of my experience regarding it. But one guess would be that at the back of my mind I know that this ain't normal. And I am deviating from the normal by staying awake. And then further the questions deepen, am I doing it right? I mean, is it alright for my future? Is it proper? And so on they deepen-is what I am doing in life right? Cuz even that seems really abnormal and disembodied sometimes. And my weird weird mind goes off on its own, asking stupid questions, answering them itself, making up stories, convincing and not convincing itself, making me feel good and bad, silly and haughty, stupid and intelligent, and what not.. Sheer retardedness I am now convinced. Big time retard, moron of a retard I am. Not even the proper one....I hate hanging in the middle...always...I sooo wanna start life again afresh. Sick and tired of everything happening in this one. Sucks to WBUT for making me think and think and think so much about how fucked up my life is. Any slang would be an understatement for them....Stupid asses, mf's....balls!!!!!