I don't know...

There's something important I realised today suddenly walking with a friend. Sorry is a very futile word. It's just one word for "Shit!!! Couldn't help it". I mean, why say it? When the deed is done and cannot be undone anymore. It's just a formality that we say it. There's nothing to it...


It's embarrassing sometimes to go out with parents at this age. I dunno why it happens. Mum doesn't go out much because of her brand new knee cap. But with dad, especially at some store. whew!!! I slink away everytime he starts talking. At any store, at least 3 to 4 attendants will definitely come to know about 1 or 2 of his life experiences. And most of the conversations start with, "Dekho,amar boyesh to onek beshi jibon tao ami onek dekhechi" or "You have to agree that I am older to you, and more experienced" and then 1 or 2 stories would follow- "I used to live in Hong Kong and there this happened," etc etc...... And the attendants will but nod and say "yes sir yes sir". Its exasperating sometimes. I mean, c'mon leave the poor man alone. Everywhere he goes, he'll try and teach everyone, give them life lessons. Yes,definitely he knows much but excess use of it is exasperating. I think I have got that thing from him...which is again kind of exasperating when I think of it....


I don't know how to live my life. This thought somehow or the other creeps invariably into my mind sometimes. I mean, do I live it for myself? Do I live it for others? Do I go for it so that I have fun all my life because its a short time? Do I live it so that I can do good to the less fortunate and the poor? I wish I could arrive at some decision right now. But like everything else (as in my career, my objective in life) this aspect also seems hazy.... But why I don't know.