Always....Al-bloody-ways...!!!

This one's a doodle dawdle scribbling random post. Crap. Period.

Sometimes I do feel like crap. When people race ahead and I get left behind. Its frustrating. Here I am trying my hand at whatever I feel I am good at to give back something to the parents' expectations and each bloody time I end up with nothing. Always. Al-bloody-ways. Turns down me morale. I feel
1>useless
2>hopeless
3>pointless
4>worthless.


Utter crap.Always. Had the western vocals finals today at the IEM fest. I came 4th. 1.5 marks less than 3rd place.
With me its always these decimal or nominal numbers. Always. 1.5???

1> 1.5 marks less than 3rd position=4th at IEM fest.~~~ Discouraged.
2>1 mark less than the top score=Mr. Fresher title at college lost.~~~WTF??!!?!?!?!?
3>2 marks less than 3rd place=4th position at some random competition.~~~Dhurr!!!
4>Statesman Scrabble-I have been playing every year it took place from class 7 I guess- reaching semi finals,quarter finals, finals,then lost.~~~Crap,it goes on and on. Always.
5>National Scrabble Championship,Hyderabad-11th, just 1 more than the top 10 people.~~~ Not done,not fair at all!!!
6>8.8-ICSE marks=0.2 less than 9.~~~huh???
7>7.81-Semester marks=0.19 less than an 8 point.~~~ whY wHY WHY??
8>8.31-Semester Marks=0.19 less than an 8.5 point.~~~ WHY WHy Why??
9>ummmmmmmm......Can't remember anything else. But there has to be. This list isn't anywhere as short as far as I remember. Just wish I could remember what else was there in the list.

Anyways,fact is,its always those nominal or the decimal digits. Always. I'll come close to achieving something and then something or the other has to happen. Has to. Always. Its frustrating now. I keep on thinking about it. I bunked a whole week of college and practiced n practiced. Recorded songs, sent out for opinions. Yes, I get selected for the finals. And what happens there? Nothing... Fate has and always will run out on me. Playing dirty all the time. All my life. I'll get close to something I am yearning for. Almost tangible it is when She will just Snatch it away. Yes, its the perfect word for it-SNATCH!!!! ALWAYS......