Waiting

You could see the smiles on their faces
as they played on the sun.
No notion about their universe,
Or the endless black all around.

They could dive into the sun and no one would notice for a moment they were gone.
Then they could come back up again and no one would still care for a moment.

When your mother is lost and your father is gone,
When strangers knock at your door as soon as you have turned twelve,
When all you can hear are insecurities being vented out,
There's nothing to try for except hope till the end.

The rooms contract every night,
Gradually pushing them against the walls.
The windows bolt themselves shut
while the dove cries through the night.
The beads of sweat give way to anguish,
Relentless wrinkles of desperation show up in the broken shards of the mirror.

The blue mists hide whatever dreams they had ever had.
And the mountains never let the moon go out into the night.

Silver wings sprout on them and wear off every month,
Protecting them from the hunger that makes for the blanket of all the filth.
Bruised for reasons justified only by punches returned,
Saving money by not buying clothes,
Wearing the ones they already have for days on end
till each thread wears itself out loose.


Tonight is a beautiful night by the beach,
But all I keep wondering about is how they go on.
Never doing anything for themselves
but doing everything for themselves to keep moving on.
Where does the courage come from?
Where does the hope reside?
Where do they keep the strength?
Where have they locked away all their hearts?



They deserve every bit of grace,
To see life as the others do,
To unlock their hearts and fall in love,
To know what it is like to have a future,
To know that they have a chance;
One chance for a life the civil man does not look down upon
But that's where the civil man has already stooped down.

Stalker

No more cold lights to hold up,
we can take refuge in the dark corners of my room.
Lives will go on if not for strange reasons people may have, to look for us.

I'll keep you safe in the pages of my diary.

I'll be who you want me to be.
Play the part I play best,
and hold the door open for you,
so that you may see me on your way out when you go off into the rain.

Surrenders to the deceptions in my mind
I find comfort in the way I fool myself.
I can watch you smile for the rest of your life
and not move an inch lest my pen rests.

Try a different life where there's you and me
And music for the moments we have.
You could spend the day reading books of you choice
while I listen to my heart to make that music that plays.
On winter nights we could get drunk
and know why we are so warm in the cold.
Oceans of notions in the mind could play with the wind,
while the rumors could spin their own tales.

The last pages of my notebooks have a picture of you.
And a picture of an afternoon we shared.

I could make ten mistakes and you'd never know.
You make one and I know how many are going to follow.

Do you ever wonder who that man is?
Face half hidden behind that notebook he keeps writing in.

 So frequent on your way to and from work.
Anybody could be me,
I could be anybody to you.
But I love watching you talk to people,
and the way you smile even when everything's gone wrong.
There's a certain beauty in those grey eyes.
Almost as fragile as a baby's bones.
I couldn't touch them for fear of breaking through the mirrors.
For fear of losing the distance I've built from you.

Spirals

Listening to your heart is never a crime. There is a common misconception about the whole matter though. All your life you are taught about being honest to yourself. But when the key turns in your life arrive, you find far easier solutions in lies. And to your surprise, the same people who taught you otherwise encourage you.

Listening to your heart is being honest to yourself. And these days there aren't many who dig deeper into what their heart has to say. We all keep talking about integrity and honesty and the likes but what really exists,is an idea. A false lead, a lie that you have planted n your own head. One of these gives rise to every other until you are wrapped up in a cocoon of lies extending over years which you cannot rollback even if you wanted to.

A little but of self control is always good to be exercised. Lies surround this one heavily. Take cigarettes for example. Every addict says he/she is not addicted to it. Yes, a few may be telling the truth. But no matter what they say, ask them to quit. And there are bound to be days when the cigarette count is way ahead of what they constrained on themselves. A lie is all it takes to fool the mind which is the most intelligent machine and the dumbest one that ever exists at the same time.  Or take the foodies,trying to cut down. The french fries and the pastries are never to be eaten. But yeah certain days do make for exceptions. Except that they never do. A lie is all it takes to tell yourself, "its just one day" . And the day never comes.

Old friends make for the best times. Life isn't a movie alas! Any place is the start of a new journey, new friends and new people. And hardly anything from the old life accompanies you. All you can do is reminisce and smile. With the distance, time takes the upperhand slowly and then there's nothing to talk about. Two different tangents and none close enough to each other to get an inkling of what the other is all about. Slowly and steadily, you recognize the new life as your own because of the new sense of familiarity and accept every aspect about it till it makes you smile whole-heartedly. Your laugh changes with people and soon enough it sounds the same as the old one. That's when you've blended in.