1/3/19

In a room full of people, I love you.

 "You know how you're supposed to feel all tingly and romantic when he says "I love you" to you the first time?
I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you. "

Well, I didn't. I panicked.

We were in a room full of people, people who were my close friends - it was a small party- but no one knew we had been dating for a while. The secretiveness of it made everything more exciting somehow.

We were talking about a new dress I had been designing. Suddenly, out of the blue, right in the middle of the conversation, he said with the greatest ease, "Hey, I love you".

I just kind of got caught by surprise and then I got anxious. Panic crashed onto the shore in waves and spread through my body in an instant. I looked around frantically to check if anyone had overheard. I really hadn't been expecting this!

No one was near enough to have overheard. "Whew!" went my brain.

I turned back to him and smiled. "What a smart idiot this one was! Springing it on me out of nowhere! Making sure no one was around", I thought.  He had chosen the moment wisely. It also seemed that he had expected the panic and was waiting for my reaction patiently. He grinned cheekily at me.

"I love you too", I whispered.

"You're so beautiful." he whispered back, staring straight into my eyes and tucked a strand of hair behind my ears. And with that, the goosebumps rushed in.

From those days of hushed and secretive "I love you"s in rooms full of people to today when here we are here, standing at the altar, in front of everyone, not one bit of the excitement has diminished.

No comments:

Scared and Safe

 It seems like I go through these sine waves of anxiety and determination. I ride out the waves differently of course. It seems like the anx...