Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Right Here Waiting

That's right. Richard Marx. Right Here Waiting. A song that will live through years to come. A song that brings back memories flooding. There are songs, movies, poems, pictures which send you through a time warp, rushing and hurtling you backwards. That avenue in your mind which you thought had been pretty much closed till that time suddenly opens up and you are a floating ghost in that broken down avenue lost in time. There's your school, there's your schoolyard, there's that school bus waiting for you, there's that ice cream man, there's that girls school a few minutes from yours where you made your first girlfriend. There's that cycle all broken your dad had gifted you, there's that tiffin box your mom made lunch in, there's that window pane still lying shattered in the place you had broken it, there's the football your sister had gifted you.

And you see all of it suddenly. Just because of that one song, one word, one movie, one advertisement. Right Here Waiting did that to me today. I was at a Chinese restaurant, eating and sipping at a glass of wine with a friend and this song suddenly started up on the speakers overhead out of the blue. And BAM! That did it. I was a ghost in the quiet streets, retreating steadily away from the buzz of the place and from what she was saying.

Memories make for the best and worst of times. And times when these avenues open up in your mind, all you do is go quiet and wish for another chance at all you see on those streets. But growing up has its own way. These are just perks of your journey ahead in life. And even though you shake your head and try to nod your way back into reality, the thoughts cling on for a while and you remain lost for quite sometime. A phone call, a skype chat, a text is all that you can do to try and connect with the memories of the people who slid into your head suddenly.

This very feeling of lost is out of the world. But just because you're losing, doesn't mean you're lost.

Monday, May 05, 2014

The Woes Of Dating at 19 and 25

You're 19 and you really like this girl at college, you want to take her out and you actually somehow muster up the courage to do so and ask her out. The moment of surprise comes when she agrees. You, in your weird clothes, weird hair, weird ways and weird mumbling sentences- all the strangeness finds closure somewhere. And all you thought was that she liked the mature guys with deep voices and clean clothes and demure ways. So you dress up good, comb your hair after ages,tell your friends you're just going to the shopping mall down the road but you meet the girl and take her to that fancy restaurant you always avoided going to with your friends because you couldn't afford it.

Suddenly you can afford that fancy restaurant, a gift or two for her and cab rides. You've badgered your parents and friends to shell out some money and off you go. It's cool that first time. Going further, you realize how difficult it is to take a girl out and show her a  good time when you're 19 and not earning. That's when you resolved to study harder and get those good grades and get a good job that would pay you well and allow you to show her a good time.

So you tell the girl to take it slow and wait it out a bit while you go and get that super job. She does wait, the good grades come yet that job doesn't; stupid recession ruins it all. Finally you do land that job. But meanwhile, she has gotten bored and tired of waiting for you and has moved on and gets herself a boyfriend. You tell yourself, it doesn't matter: I have a job now, I can take out any girl I like now. 
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You're 25 and you're working your ass off at the beginning of your career, trying to go places and make impressions. That girl you really like now? She can wait. You work and work,then your parents suddenly remind you that it's pretty late in life and high time you got married. You don't have the time to get to know that girl and you ask your parents to fix you up with someone of their choice because, that way, you know, everyone is happy. Your parents find that girl, you think she's pretty and you take off a few days from work to get married and then you dive back into your work again.

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You're 25 and you're working and getting paid those bucks you had dreamed of. You really like this girl at office but even though it is never  a good idea to 'dip your pen in the company ink', you ask her out. The moment of surprise comes when she agrees. You, with your pressed shirts, your combed hair, your punctuality and your demure ways. And all you thought that she liked those guys who came to office in jeans and tees, played in a band after work, played pool during work hours and did hardly any work properly. So you dress up good, comb your hair again after combing it twice,tell your colleagues you're just going to the shopping mall down the road but you meet the girl and take her to that fancy restaurant you always avoided going to with your colleagues because half of them were pretty loud.

And you can now afford that fancy restaurant, a gift or two for her and cab rides. Heck, you have your own car now. You didn't even have to badger your parents and friends to shell out some money so that you could have a good time.She sits pretty while you drive her around town sharing stories and laughing into infiniteness. It's cool that first time. Going further, you realize how difficult it is to take a girl out and show her a  good time when you're 25 and earning money that never seems to be enough.

So you tell her to wait a bit while you go ahead and buy that house in that locality you have always dreamed of, buy a brand new car and set up everything for the eventual wedding which includes letting the families and friends know. Finally you have done it all. The car is here, the house is there, the loans are being properly taken care of, you had even talked to her family. But meanwhile, she has gotten bored and tired of waiting for you and moved on and gets herself a fiance. She finally gathers the courage and tells you about it all. You are devastated and take time to recover back from the shock. When you do is tell yourself: it doesn't matter, I have a car,a house now, I can take out any girl I like now and get married to her eventually. 

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 You may think there are differences in both scenes. But the general idea of the dating scenario remains the same. Whether you're 19, or you're 25, you're a virtuoso in the art of messing up. However much you try not to, you will mess up more and more by the day. It's how the universe works and always will.

This might just sum it up perfectly: :P
http://flappingcurtains.blogspot.in/2013/10/sixteen.html

Friday, May 02, 2014

Change

The tears that have slipped past
Without noticing anyone else
The smiles that have flashed past
Without noticing anyone else
Everyone else seemed too busy

Wrapped up in their chocolate wrappers.


Tomorrow came and went
The past swayed on its precarious foot
Even today's slipping by fast
Without noticing anyone else.
Who else has to but do the job of keeping everything at bay?
Precious people and moments are the cost
For keeping it sane everyday.
They dined quietly now.
They slept quite well.
They walked in silence.
They stared into space.
His friends took him home.
Her friends let her stay.
He didn't mind the loneliness.
She kept planning what to say.


Arrival

I am sitting at the International Arrivals section of Dulles airport right now and watching people. Reunions are always special.Different ...